A walker man (or Crepeus Phatgaeitus) is a species of strange humanoid-ish being known to occupy planet Earth. They were created by a really bored old guy known only as Bag for the purposes of getting him food.


The Walker Men are fairly similar in appearance. They are always very fat, mickey-mouse eyes, walk in peculiar ways have unkempt facial hair, and have large noses.


While walker men don't talk, they can frequently be found making weird faces at people, especially children, as they walk by. This is because their main diet is of children, which they eat, then, after they die, is harvested by Bag.

Life CycleEdit

Walker Men are born in much the same way as normal humans, however, when they die, they instantly transform into their own graves. Have you ever wondered why sometimes you see those weird cylindrical cones in roads that aren't cone shaped at all? They're actually Walker Man graves! There, they basically decompose and all their vital nutrients morph into a chewable formula which is eventually eaten by Bag.


Walker men tend to prefer really small, cold, confined areas to dwell in. The reason for this is because they know that they're being hunted by humans, and they don't want to get killed without being fed to Bag! So they can often been seen all hunched up in power boxes at the side of the road, or really dingy stalls in deserted public washrooms, or whatever.


The Bag government (the Ministry of Silly Walks) was a British-based organization funded by the British Government in the 70's and 80's. Unfortunately due to the terrible advertising campaign, it was interpreted as comedy and funding ceased, leading to several riots.